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Lyrics by Billy Talent
This story, although a work of fiction, is just a glimpse of what someone going through this experiences. I felt it necessary to write a piece about such a strong topic because, in the last 20 years, domestic abuse has become a major issue.
2 out of 3 females in this population have been attacked by a family member or a person with which they are acquainted.
6 in every 10 women who are victims of homicide were murdered by someone they know. About half of these women were murdered by a spouse or someone whom they had been intimate with.
Every 21 days, a woman is killed by domestic violence.
Children are involved in 60 percent of domestic violence cases.
More than twice as many women are killed by their husbands or boyfriends than by strangers.
In the united states, a woman is beaten every 7.4 seconds. Approximately 3-4 million woman are beaten by male partners annually.
I dedicate this story to anyone currently suffering from domestic abuse, anyone who has lost the battle, and anyone that had the courage to escape the violence to live a life without constant fear.
This story, although a work of fiction, is just a glimpse of what someone going through this experiences. I felt it necessary to write a piece about such a strong topic because, in the last 20 years, domestic abuse has become a major issue.
2 out of 3 females in this population have been attacked by a family member or a person with which they are acquainted.6 in every 10 women who are victims of homicide were murdered by someone they know. About half of these women were murdered by a spouse or someone whom they had been intimate with.Every 21 days, a woman is killed by domestic violence.Children are involved in 60 percent of domestic violence cases.More than twice as many women are killed by their husbands or boyfriends than by strangers.In the united states, a woman is beaten every 7.4 seconds. Approximately 3-4 million woman are beaten by male partners annually.I dedicate this story to anyone currently suffering from domestic abuse, anyone who has lost the battle, and anyone that had the courage to escape the violence to live a life without constant fear.
Mature
© 2009 - 2024 megan24601
Comments53
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Overall Vision Originality Technique Impact<img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/c/r/c…" alt="
" title="Critique-It"/>1 - page breaks are not confusing, and work well within the story.
2 - the flag introduction doesn't seem to have real relevance to the story... especially since you've flouted the conventional interpretations of the flags we are familiar with. also Carol's fatalism/defeatism indicated here cuts ties with the reader. you've amputated any hope for a 'happy' ending, before you've even begun the story.
3 - i think the facts and 'disclaimer' should be added to the artist's comments, instead of presented as part of the piece. this would let the story stand on its own.
4 - i would suggest you give you readers a bit more on Glen's transition. make it clear that although the incident with Charlie is the catalyst, it is not an overnight change. for example, hint that he is growing suspicious and resentful of her visiting with her sister. this will make his flat refusal more effective when she asks for a 'day off.' maybe also show her transition from Glen's partner to his prisoner. right now there is no real transition - just the abrupt change. your narrator tells us it happens, but we don't 'see' it happening.
you have a strong premise, and good foundation. some development will make this into a very powerful piece.
<img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/t/r/t…" alt="
" title="Trauma-and-PTSD"/> and <img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/r/a…" alt="
" title="Art-With-A-Message"/> might be interested in this piece as well. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title=" (Smile)"/>